Out Loud

While waiting for Chinese takeout,
I fumble with my car keys.
The fact that I am hungry
justifies my impatience
and a nervous habit,
I suppose.

Until I realize
that a trinket on the chain is
from my daughter and says,
"My father, My hero."

I wanted to cry
in a Chinese restaurant
waiting for hot and sour soup,
egg rolls, and cashew chicken
but I didn't.

So, instead while my grandson
is having an evening bath
and I have a few moments to myself
I'll cry
in a corner of the house
where it is quiet.

My child is dead.
I just want to cry
out loud.